​Time alone may make things easier to cope with, but you are never truly healed until you are faced with the opportunity to react the same way to something and you react differently. When faced with an individual years later, you can feel the same things you felt as if the break-up were yesterday. Time alone does not heal wounds, rather it allows our minds to be more easily distracted from our pain. This is why we should stop telling people to find closure within. The advice to 'get your own closure' infuses the notion that the person who has just been rejected is now responsible for moving past something they do not fully comprehend, cannot psychologically reconcile, and are insufficiently prepared to navigate. So what should we say? In order to find closure, let's encourage people to be open. Feel all the things all the emotions and all the pain. Encourage closure by encouraging an individual to go through every emotion as it comes. Let the sadness come, then ask yourself why. Let the anger come and then ask yourself why. I was seeking closure because I needed to say how I felt without understanding fully what I felt. My anger did not dismiss my love which in part was why I was angry. I felt I would not do to them what was done to me on account of my love. It is not always the event that causes the discomfort, it is the lack of clarity as to why the event occurred in the first place. In my quest for closure, the ugly truth was that after the betrayal my heart did not stop loving the person who my mind hated for hurting me. In order to truly move on from things and people that bring us pain, we can't rely on time to pass or the release of unsaid words to find peace.